Just a few moments ago, I've learned that we got an apartment for our first year of married life together. What a blessing, and what a perfect timing. In about two months from today, we will be moving in. And the most interesting part of it, we're getting married a day after we move in!
That realization caught me by surprise, and of course my first reflex was to panic. A million thoughts crowded my head- where will I stay the week before the wedding since I can't move in earlier? Will I really be carrying boxes and sweating it out 24 hours before walking down the aisle? How about the rehearsal that's the night of our move-in? Most of the thoughts were completely self-centered and cast a shadow on many beautiful things attached to the apartment. For instance, the fact that we actually managed to get housing, that it is the apartment we desired, that we know we won't be homeless next year, and that Márcio took tender care of me by arranging everything alone. So much joy trampled in a few seconds of mental disturbia.
I've made a similar mistake only two days ago (!) when after learning that my grandpa can join us at the wedding with a flight ticket our friends collected money for, I immediately started worrying about the prices of tickets and how fast I can get them. What an ungrateful attitude, and what a busy soul that doesn't stop to thank God for the provision of both 1) the finances to bring my family over to the wedding, 2) and an unexpected family member to come along.
So let me rewind my apartment-related thought train and stop for a second. "Praise the LORD, my soul, and forget not all his benefits" Ps 103:2. I want to be reminded of His goodness and care and not ignorantly glaze over it. I want to appreciate the things He faithfully gave us as we prayed and waited for them, not rush impatiently toward yet another prayer request or worse yet, anxiety as I try fixing things myself. Because ultimately, it's not about the stuff He provides, but about learning to trust Him in all circumstances.
That realization caught me by surprise, and of course my first reflex was to panic. A million thoughts crowded my head- where will I stay the week before the wedding since I can't move in earlier? Will I really be carrying boxes and sweating it out 24 hours before walking down the aisle? How about the rehearsal that's the night of our move-in? Most of the thoughts were completely self-centered and cast a shadow on many beautiful things attached to the apartment. For instance, the fact that we actually managed to get housing, that it is the apartment we desired, that we know we won't be homeless next year, and that Márcio took tender care of me by arranging everything alone. So much joy trampled in a few seconds of mental disturbia.
I've made a similar mistake only two days ago (!) when after learning that my grandpa can join us at the wedding with a flight ticket our friends collected money for, I immediately started worrying about the prices of tickets and how fast I can get them. What an ungrateful attitude, and what a busy soul that doesn't stop to thank God for the provision of both 1) the finances to bring my family over to the wedding, 2) and an unexpected family member to come along.
So let me rewind my apartment-related thought train and stop for a second. "Praise the LORD, my soul, and forget not all his benefits" Ps 103:2. I want to be reminded of His goodness and care and not ignorantly glaze over it. I want to appreciate the things He faithfully gave us as we prayed and waited for them, not rush impatiently toward yet another prayer request or worse yet, anxiety as I try fixing things myself. Because ultimately, it's not about the stuff He provides, but about learning to trust Him in all circumstances.
A view from my apartment in Paris last year.
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